


Kitchen Lights

by achievement_huntresss



Series: Flan's MH/CL44 fics [8]
Category: Marble Hornets
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Depression, Disabled Character, Dissociation, Domestic, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Canon, kind of?, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 08:07:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27659935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/achievement_huntresss/pseuds/achievement_huntresss
Summary: Ever since Tim got control back from... that thing... he's gotten a lot better at remembering his pills and staying in his head. Sometimes though, he has a hard time keeping track of time, to the point where it's really messing him up. Thankfully his boyfriend knows how to take care of him.
Relationships: Brian/Timothy "Tim" W.
Series: Flan's MH/CL44 fics [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1187675
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	Kitchen Lights

**Author's Note:**

> THIS WAS WRITTEN AS A VENT FIC!!! 
> 
> Please take caution reading this!! Especially if you have struggled with depression or eating disorders in the past!!
> 
> Stay safe and enjoy friends!

Brian walks into the apartment he shares with Tim, setting his cane against the wall by the front door and locking it behind him. It had been a good day at the clinic, his pain hadn't been bad enough to warrant his wheelchair, and it was relatively quiet (well, as quiet as it can be for an ER nurse). He slipped off his shoes and coat, walking further into the front hall.

"Tim?" He calls into the quiet. He hears a noise of acknowledgement from the living room and peeks around the corner. "You doing okay?"

"Think so? I dunno." Tim looks up at Brian. He was laying on the floor of their apartment, one arm wrapped around his stomach, the other draped over his head.

"Uh, you want some water or something? I'll get you some trail mix." Brian approached Tim and leans down to pat his arm. Tim more or less nods and Brian straightens, walking to the kitchen. He fills a glass quickly and grabs the whole bag of trail mix before hurrying back to Tim. He frowns at his boyfriend, this was the third time this week he'd found Tim on the floor.

"When's the last time you ate something?" Brian helps Tim sit up and lets him lean against his shoulder. He takes a peanut out of the bag and presses it to Tim's lips.

"I can feed myself," Tim says without any real heat behind it and eats the peanut anyways.

"I know, dude." Tim doesn't make the usual comment about the ethics of calling a man who has had your dick in his mouth 'dude'. Brian offers an M&M. "I just wanna help, Timbit. Answer my question?"

"I think," crunch crunch, "I think yesterday? After work?"

"Fuck, Tim, do you know what time it is?"

"Four?"

"No man, it's eight. I just got home from the clinic. C'mon, let's get you up." Brian helped lift Tim to his feet and practically carried him to the bedroom. Gently setting him on the bed, Brian helped Tim change into a clean shirt before sitting next to him and feeding him more trail mix. 

"Sorry I just- I kinda forget about time, y'know," Tim curls into himself a little. 

"Yeah I know," Brian sighs and leans his head on the other man's shoulder. "Jessica and Alex do sometimes too. Jay and I talked about it a while back." He presses a kiss against Tim's shoulder. "I'm worried about you."

"I'm okay, Bri."

Another sigh.

"I _am_ ," Tim emphasizes. "Y'don't gotta worry about me. Y'got other shit to worry about."

"Yeah, I know." Brian presses a cashew against Tim's lips. "I've found you lying on the floor three times this week man."

"Sometimes," crunch crunch, "sometimes I get kinda dizzy and it's hard to walk. So I just lay down."

"Tim, it's because you're not eating enough. Don't make me call Jessica."

Tim groans. He loved Jessica, he really did, but she could be a little overprotective of Tim sometimes. He knows Jay gets the same treatment from her, probably more since they live together, but sometimes it feels a little suffocating. He really did appreciate her mother-hen personality most of the time, but he knew that if she caught wind of how he was treating himself, she would practically move into the apartment until he was better.

"God, please don't. She'll come over and make Alex cook for me and then somehow all 5 of us will be living together again." Tim falls back onto the mattress, Brian following close behind.

"Then you gotta eat more," Brian pats Tim's thigh and feeds him an almond. 

"It's hard." Tim struggles to turn his head to face his boyfriend. "Like, I blink and three hours go by. And when I remember that I'm hungry, cooking or microwaving food is too overwhelming."

"Aw, man, you should've told me. I'll cook for you." Brian smiles at him. Tim snorts and shoves a handful of trail mix into his mouth to hide his own grin.

"You're working, like, all the time. Plus I don't want to only eat salad for the rest of my life."

Brian rolls his eyes, still smiling. "Oh my God, Timmy, when's the last time you saw me eat a salad? I fuckin' live off of pasta."

"Whatever you say, bunny rabbit." Tim was giggling (giggling!) at the ceiling, and Brian fake punched him in the arm. 

"Yeah, well, this bunny rabbit can pick you up and throw you!" Brian suddenly lunges forward, a massive shit-eating grin on his face. He scoops up Tim, who thrashes in between laughs. Brian winces when he feels how light Tim feels, but he's quickly pulled from his thoughts when Tim whacks him with a stuffed animal Alex had given them. Brian drops him into the pillows.

"Jesus, when was the last time you showered?" Brian caught a whiff of whatever smelled bad on Tim, who looked away. Their schedules were so different, and Brian usually came back to the apartment exhausted enough to crash into the bed immediately and without even noticing Tim.

"Uh, I think it might've been... It's been like four or five days?" Tim looks down at the sheets, frowning. Brian notices the embarrassed blush on his boyfriend's cheeks and frowns too.

"C'mon, let's get you cleaned up."

Brian slides off the bed and reaches for Tim's hand, who takes it. Brian pulls him to his feet, lunging to catch him when he stumbles and almost falls backwards. Tim looks dazed for a split second, but regained his balance and waved Brian off when he saw how worried he looks.

"Tim..." Brian starts, but decides not to finish his thought. Better to fight the current battle than start a new one. Instead, he drags Tim to the bathroom and begins to run a bath. He made Tim sit on the edge of the tub while he searched for a clean towel, a difficult feat for two men who never properly learned how to do laundry. He returns with the one towel that didn't have a suspicious stain on it and smelled acceptable. He hands it to Tim and shut off the water, testing it to make sure it was good. He then helps Tim out of his clothes and made sure he got in the tub safely.

"I'm not elderly, you don't have to do this," Tim says, embarrassedly staring straight ahead. Despite the fact they'd been dating for years and had seen each other naked multiple times, Tim was still a little embarrassed to be naked in a tub while his best friend/boyfriend hovered over him like he was a little Victorian boy suffering from some fever.

"Yeah, but I wanna help. I care about you." Brian crawls over to the cabinet under the sink and dug around a little until he found what he was looking for. "Want a bath bomb? I think Jessica gave it to us when we moved in. It smells like oranges."

Tim shrugs and half-smiles. "Alright."

Brian dropped it into the water and Tim watches it fizz. Brian takes a handful of water and drops it over Tim's head.

"Ah! What the fuck?" He startled and splashed Brian, who falls over laughing. When Brian recovers from his laughing fit, he sits up and offers Tim an apologetic smile, complete with puppy dog eyes. 

"You want me to help you wash your hair?"

"For fuck's sake, I'm capable of washing my own hair, Brian."

"Do you have the energy to wash it yourself?"

Tim pondered.

"No."

"You want some help?

"Fine."

Tim huffed and tried not to feel so ashamed of himself for being too sad to wash his own hair. He also tried very very hard not to turn beet red. Oh no, too late. Brian smiled reassuringly at Tim, who was redder than a tomato, as he got some shampoo in his hands and ran it through Tim's greasy hair. Tim tried not to lean into the touch, but he'd been in a dreamlike haze for the past month or so, and physical contact felt like heaven. He always tried to be strong for everyone, including his boyfriend, but sometimes he felt like he needed someone to lean on. It was hard to ask though, at least for him. Tim hoped Brian would pick up on his needs, nonverbally, as he usually did. His eyes fluttered shut as Brian shampooed his hair and massaged his scalp, using his blunt nails to really dig in. Once Brian was satisfied with the suds in his hair, he made him lay back in the tub to rinse it out. Tim sits up and Brian hands him a bar of soap and a washcloth, before standing to go cook dinner.

"I love you, Tim, but I'm not gonna wash your armpits for you," Tim snorts at that. "I'll give you some privacy. Just call me when you're done, okay? I don't want you to fall." He runs his knuckles over Tim's cheekbones, just a brush of skin on skin. He turns around and walks out of the bathroom, closing the door enough for privacy, but still open just a crack. Tim sinks further into the water, and tries to process everything that was happening. On one hand, he really really enjoyed being taken care of, but on the other, he felt absolutely devastated that someone noticed how weak he was. He had to be strong for everyone, despite craving being treated gently like Brian often attempted to do. He was just too proud to allow anyone to do that. He was the one taking care of Brian on days where his pain was just too bad, he was the one checking up on Jess and Jay and Alex, making sure everyone was taking their pills and staying sane. Tim groaned and dunked his head under. He popped back up and wiped the water from his eyes. He settled on feeling like shit, and reached for the soap and washcloth.

Meanwhile, Brian flipped on the lights in their tiny kitchen. He'd lit a nice smelling candle in the living room, and got to work under the white fluorescents that buzzed something awful. No one else seemed to be bothered by the noise, so most of the time Brian just bit his tongue and suffered in silence. But now he was alone, so he glared up at the lights and stuck his tongue out like a little kid. He busied himself, finding a bag of lentils that was probably still okay, a can of beans, whatever vegetables were in the fridge and some of his favorite tofu. He put on some water to boil, and seasoned it to taste like decent broth, then chopped up veggies and tofu to assemble a proper soup. Brian was worried sick over Tim, he felt guilty over not noticing how bad he had gotten. They both worked, Tim at a local, mom & pop shop, Brian at the local clinic as a nurse. They barely saw each other, their days off not really corresponding with each other. Brian briefly considered calling into both of their jobs the next day, but figured that would ultimately be Tim's call. He turned on the electric kettle, and began making some of Tim's favorite tea. Brian scrolled through his phone anxiously, brain too busy to let him focus on one thing too long. He resigned himself to scrolling through Twitter, checking on the soup, sipping his own mug of tea, and listening to make sure that Tim hadn't hurt himself. Oh fuck. Tim. Brian set down his phone on the counter and crept towards the bedroom, quietly approaching the bathroom. 

He knocked as gently as possible. "Hey, Tim. You okay in there?"

"Yeah, 'm almost done." Splash.

"Alright, you want me to help you out?"

Another splash followed by a sigh.

"Yeah, okay. Thanks Brian."

"Hey, that's what I'm here for. I'll get you some clean clothes."

"Thanks," his voice was just a soft whisper, and Brian ignored the way his stomach twisted.

Brian went into the kitchen to stir the soup one more time before returning to the bedroom to look for clean pajamas. He couldn't find anything clean on Tim's side of the room, so he figured he'd let Tim borrow some of his. He dug around on his side of the dresser, finding an old pair of sweatpants that might've been his dad's sometime before college and an oversized green hoodie he knew for sure was Alex's. He figured these would do, and returned to the bathroom door, knocking again gently.

"Brian," Tim started.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks. For everything."

"Of course. You're my best friend, Tim. I love you." _I'd do anything for you._

"Can you come help me up?"

"Yeah, can I come in now?"

"Yeah."

Brian opened the door, clutching the pajamas, and entered the bathroom. He set the clothes on the toilet and grabbed the towel off the floor. Tim stood up from the water and Brian handed him the towel with one hand while steadying him with the other, and Tim managed to get out of the tub and onto the worn down blue bath mat without falling and cracking his skull open. Brian considered this a win. He left him to get dressed so he could go fix them two bowls of soup and mugs of hot tea, giving the majority of both to Tim. Brian turned on the TV, and navigated to Netflix, leaving the choice of movie or show up to Tim. Speaking of whom, the forlorn man made his way into the living room and nearly gave Brian a heart attack when he sat on the couch next to him.

"How the hell do you walk so quietly?" Brian hands him the bowl and sets the mug in front of him on the coffee table.

"Creaky floorboards," Tim states, matter-of-factly, and brings his knees to his chest, resting the bowl on them.

"Got a movie in mind?" Brian blows on his own bowl.

"How about Parks and Rec?" Tim takes a bite of soup and smiles.

Brian grins and turns back to the TV. "Want to start at the first episode?"

"Yeah."

Brian types in the title and hits play, scooting a little closer to Tim. They sit together through the first episode in comfortable silence, eating their soup and drinking their tea. When he finished his bowl, Brian set it on the coffee table and snuggled back into Tim. 

"Good?" He mumbled into Tim's shoulder.

"Yeah." Tim moved away to set his own empty bowl down. When he settled back down, Brian, ever the cuddler, wrapped an arm around him and curled into him. Tim leaned into the embrace and rested his head atop Brian's. He sighed into his boyfriend's hair, and looked at him, really looked at him. He noticed the way Brian's t-shirt crumpled up and exposed a little bit of his belly, he noticed that Brian had been stealing his shampoo, he noticed that everytime he shifted around, he could feel Brian's breathing hitch slightly. Tim reached up and petted Brian's hair, smiling slightly at the way he subconsciously butted his head up into his touch like a cat. For the first time in weeks, warm and safe, Tim felt himself drifting to sleep. When Brian felt Tim's hands go still, he looked up and smiled at his relaxed face. He congratulated himself on a job well done and promptly passed out on Tim's lap.

"-Bri. Brian."

Brian opened his eyes to see Tim leaning over him. Upon closer inspection, he noticed that the TV was now dark, the candle burnt out, and Tim's hand on his cheek.

"Wha' happenin'?"

"Gotta go to bed."

"Mmmnh comfy here. You... comfy." Brian responded articulately. 

"C'mon, we gotta go to bed. You can cuddle me all you want in bed." Tim nudged at his shoulder.

"Hh. Fine." Brian sat up and gave Tim a woozy smile. Tim helped Brian stand up, Brian's chronic pain acting up after dozing on the couch in an uncomfortable position.

The pair stumbled to the bedroom and crawled into bed, Tim in borrowed pajamas and Brian barely remembering to shimmy off his jeans and sleep in his boxers and hoodie. Brian snuggled close, an arm and leg wrapping around Tim, his head tucked against his chest. Brian could hear his heartbeat slow into a relaxed pace, and smiled into the fabric of the ratty old hoodie. Tim carded his fingers through Brian's hair, gently untangling the little knots. Brian whispers something unintelligible into Tim's chest before his breaths became even and he went limp against his boyfriend. Tim had always been amazed by Brian's ability to fall asleep anywhere and anytime, without much trouble. He shifted Brian slightly, enjoying the feeling of pressure on his body. Huh. This was probably why people recommended weighted blankets all the time. He leaned down slightly and kissed the top of Brian's head, smiling to himself. For the first time in months, Tim felt completely safe and full of love. He wiggled one more time to get comfortable before closing his eyes and drifting off into the easiest sleep he'd had in years.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a conversation with C4ke. I love u biiiiitch
> 
> I aint ever gonna stop loving you biiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch


End file.
